News

Noah’s FFL highlights: a chat with the family

Can you remember when Noah first joined FFL and Lisa (project worker) came to visit you at home?

Jacqueline: Yes, I can remember and I think at the time he was a bit young to do a lot of the things.

We looked back and discovered Noah joined FFL in January 2015.

Jacqueline. Gosh! Yeah, he would have been 9 wouldn’t he?

Can you remember what his social life and confidence was like back then and whether anything has changed?

Jacqueline: He was still at primary school. He didn’t really do anything other than school.

Duncan: Yeah. I remember them saying at school like he was really quiet. Like I don’t think he talked to other members of the class or anything. That’s beginning to change a little bit now [Noah now attends a specialist school]. It’s a different environment as well.

Jacqueline: It just takes him a long time with new people. Does he talk to you much more now?

Yeah definitely. So, when I first took over CYG (Congleton Youth Group), you were a lot quieter Noah and it took you a while to get used to me didn’t it which it would for anyone I suppose. Now I think you’re a lot chattier, you will answer questions and volunteer to do things and you were the only one in the dance session who danced away for the entire session!

Jacqueline: Yeah he will join in with a lot of things and especially something that interests him, he can be quite chatty about it.

Do you feel listened to at Friends for Leisure, like your ideas are considered?

Noah: Yeah. Sometimes.

Can you think of an example where you think you’ve felt listened to?

Duncan: Is there any games that you’ve asked for at Friends for Leisure and they’ve played it?

Noah: Connect 4

Duncan: Do you always ask for that?

You always play it don’t you? It’s become a bit of a thing. Noah challenges the volunteers to a game of Connect 4 and he always wins.

Duncan: Does he do the tuck shop bit and say what he wants? [Noah nods]

Jacqueline: Do you pay with your money?

Noah: Yes. I know a song about money.

Jacqueline: Oh well maybe save that until later!

What do you think Noah gets the most, out of accessing FFL?

Jacqueline: I think seeing other people and spending time with different people, especially children his age but the activities as well. There are that many different things that he would never get that chance to do.

Duncan: Yeah, like we’ve said during lockdown I think what we’re going to do is start taking him to The Old Saw Mill Café more because I’ve taken him out a couple of times to like Costa and places like that and its not really a familiar surrounding for him because its not something we particularly do so we want to try and get him to do that. We had a recent incident at another café where we went for lunch one day and basically, he stole a chip of another man’s plate which was obviously really embarrassing for us and really awkward. So that’s like one of the things we thought we are going to try and do more and like the saw mill are used to you guys being there. So, I think doing things like that are helpful for him. So its given him a chance to try places in a more understanding environment because obviously your average café customer, even though a lot more people are now aware of Autism, its just a lot more comfortable.

Jacqueline: It’s the independence as well for him because with us, he just relies on us to do everything whereas when he’s with you, he kind of has to ask for things.

Do you feel safe at our activities?

Noah: Sometimes. I’m helpful to people.

Jacqueline: But do you feel safe there? You’re happy going, aren’t you? You like to go. You look forward to it don’t you? [Noah agrees].

And as parents, do you feel confident that he’ll be safe?

Both: Oh yeah.

Duncan: 100 %

Jacqueline: We’re always wary of him going to different places. Even with us sometimes. But no, we don’t think anything of leaving him and with his epilepsy which you’ve now experienced.

Have you got a favourite FFL memory?

Jacqueline: I think he enjoys going to the restaurants because that’s something different as well and you do like your food, don’t you?

Duncan: Yeah, like when he went to Reubens. Because we don’t particularly eat out very often at all do we so again that’s something good for him.

Jacqueline: The sporty ones I think you like as well don’t you.

Noah: I like badminton

Jacqueline: You’ve done tennis haven’t you, you liked that and football.

Has he gained any new interests or hobbies from things or new places he might have tried with youth group?

Duncan: From my point of view, visiting restaurants is the best experience he’s had. You know, he’s trying different foods. Most other things, I think he’s probably done with us as well.

Does he get anxious trying new things?

Duncan: Not really.

Jacqueline: The trouble is, because we’re usually with him, he just goes a long with it because he’s comfortable. So, to push him into doing something on his own, that’s a bit different

Duncan: He might, if you suggested something like paddle boarding, he might be a bit anxious! But generally, he’s ok.

Jacqueline: You just have to talk him through it.

Have you made some friendships through Friends for Leisure?

Noah: Cathy (activity leader).

Jacqueline: He does get on better with adults a lot of the time.

Noah: And Lisa (project worker)

Jacqueline: So, at primary school he was mostly on his own with his TA. Same as when he started at high school. So now, at his special school where he’s actually mixing with the other children more, I think so he has missed out on quite a lot of that.

Duncan: I suppose, because he’s had a lot of attention off us from an early age because of his epilepsy and stuff, with family members like grandparents and stuff have spent a lot of time with him and obviously he’s had a one-to-one TA since reception age. So, to be fair, I think mixing with other children his age is quite alien to him and he is more familiar with more mature people and adults. I think he does struggle, in some ways, to bond with younger people. I think he is beginning to do that at school now but its only his first year there and he’s not there at the moment during lockdown.

Noah had 2 days back in school this week for the first time since lockdown began. How did that go?

Noah: Not too bad.

Duncan: To be fair, I think he went back really well. For how long he’s been off and the fact that he’s had issues returning to school in the past, we expected a big meltdown sort of thing but no, he was brilliant.

How would you rate your experience of Friends for Leisure, as parent carers?

Duncan: 10 out of 10. We’re really happy and he obviously feels safe, we know that people will look after him and understand his needs.

Jacqueline: You haven’t got the worry that he’s going to say something or do something silly, you know, it doesn’t matter. Whereas normally you’re worrying, yeah we don’t worry at all.

It’s nice that his sister also comes with him to holiday activities sometimes.

Jacqueline: Yeah she’s quite happy to join in with anything and she wants to go. We ask her if she’d do things with Noah but he’s quite happy to do things on his own but it gives her something to do and something for them to do together because they don’t get to do much together.

Duncan: And I think it’s a case that she can see other children with similar but also different needs to Noah because she’s probably not used to it. She’s only used to seeing Noah at home and gets to meet children with physical disabilities as well, not just Autism.

What do you think Friends for Leisure does well?

Duncan: I think the events are brilliant and the flyer that you send out is really professional! I think that comes across really well.

Noah: And Noah is always looking at it. So he always goes back like “ooh what’s this week?”. It’s on his calendar what he’s doing but he always likes going back to the flyer which is nice, looking at the photos and things.

Jacqueline: I just think because he’s safe.

Duncan: Yeah and that we can have a break as well, even if its only an hour and a half, it gives us a bit of respite really.

Is there anything else you would like to say?

Jacqueline: Noah’s sister has done a bit of fundraising for you. She’s been making masks for people. She’s donated a bit of each one to you and put it in her collection box.

That’s lovely. Please tell her thank you!